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I Just like doing it. I love living somewhere and then just disappearing. I don’t know why. Maybe its the thought that someone might wonder where I am. Maybe its that I get bored. Maybe its that I really just don’t want to get too comfortable or let anyone know me too much. who knows. I just don’t wanna get stuck ya know? I’m not the kind of person who has ever had too many friends. I usually get attached to one or two people and they usually end up leaving or disappearing as well for some reason or another. One minute we’re super close and the next BAM! They’re gone. I really just expect it anymore. Except for my family. They don’t really have a choice. I mean I guess they could just abandon me if they wanted but they’re nice enough not to. I really just want to disappear right now. and I don’t think anyone would care.
Learn to take criticism. Not everyone is going to like you or what you do. So don’t take it personally. Don’t quit because one person says they don’t like it. Keep on truckin.
Next bit of advice. Stop trying to force everything. A career, relationships, friendships, success. Stop trying to force it. Just work hard and do what you need to do. The rest will fall into place in its own time. As far as a career, seriously I know people “sneaking around” trying to take steps to beat out all of their friends.. are you kidding me? A. If they’re your friends they will support you. B. If they are your friends, you should support them, and stop trying to be better than them. That’s where it ties into friendships. No one likes a person who is overly competitive and goes behind their friends backs. Remember, it gets lonely at the top when you step on people to get there. Trying to outdo everyone will lose your friends, and leave you all alone. One of my old friends, well he’s on his way there. Relationships? If they want to be with you, they will. Do not change yourself, the way you dress, your taste in music, just because that’s the kind of person the person you like is into. That’s stupid. If you’re not their “type” step back and realize they’re probably not yours either. If you are over the age of 16 you’re far too old to be doing that shit anyway. If you’re a desperate 12 year old girl, then its more acceptable. So instead of stepping on people, changing yourself, and sneaking around to get ahead and get a career, just work hard, worry about you and let it happen. It’s a lot easier. My advice is to put it in God’s hands ( I realize I sound like a total cynic in some of these posts, but I am a believer.. I’m just a little flawed). We’re all on his time anyway. It’ll work when it’s meant to work. Trust God. Trust time. and just trust yourself. Love your life. seriously. stop whining. stop worrying. stop trying to force it. When you force it, you often end up faking it.
So recently I am finding myself screaming to get out of here. Probably because of a recent realization. At least where I am, at this time, I am troubled to find even one genuine person. In the last week I have been told “You’ll make it as a manager..” sucks to suck I HATE being a manager. I’ve also been told “well you might just need to suck it up a settle…” I stop at settle because honest to flipping God are you serious? Both of these endearing sentiments from “friends.” So one thing I want to get out in the open is that any type of genuine person is incredibly hard to come by. I have come to realize that all of my so called friends are the very reason the optimistic, fairy tale believing person I used to be has been extinguished. It’s a sad concept. but its incredibly true. The people closest to me outside of my family, are only competing or trying to knock me into a place where they can get what they need out of me, but not need to worry about me getting in the way. My decision? fade away. It’s hard to realize that no one is going to care when you do. But at least when you realize it, you figure out what you have to do. Moral of the story is that you really need to be careful who you do trust and call your best friends. Make sure they are people who are going to support you and bring you up, not take you down or use you to their benefit. The people who are willing to be there and support you through anything are the ones you should associate with. Be careful my friends. It’s a harsh world. If you’re like me, you’ll probably just move somewhere else to find more genuine people. Try it if you want. Running away is not always the wrong answer.